What Can Go Wrong With Self-EMDR?

What Can Go Wrong?

    Although the most important consideration with Self-EMDR is safety, safety, safety – several reports have come in about problems.  Every one has been evaluated and removed.

Mary was a teenage mother, estranged from her family and living in a flat with her baby.  The child’s father did not like babies (“Dirty things”) and so departed with another lady.  Bravely, Mary battled on until, unexpectedly, the baby died of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

Mary procured a copy of my book but reportedly was “unable to eliminate or substantially reduce the guilt and depression” within the suggested three or four one-hourly sessions.  She had allowed the grief process to run its course for two months, after moving back with her parents, before attempting self-EMDR.  Why the delay?  I recommend this because grief is part of a natural and necessary healing process.  To grieve is to heal, but unusually protracted grieving is unnecessary and undesirable.

Self-EMDR-sad_woman A brief E-mail conversation with the youngster and her mother was sufficient to establish the cause of Mary’s failure.  Once entranced and reliving the shock and desperate pain she had experienced when finding the baby’s body, Mary “bailed out”.  “I don’t like pain,” she said. “I’ve already had my share.”  I explained that, “If you are able to tolerate as little as 40 minutes of severe discomfort, once or even twice, you will be free of the tragedy for the rest of your life.  I promise.”  And so it was!  Mary rode the trauma down (from 10 out of 10 in terms of its intensity, to 9, to 9, to 9, to 6, to 5, to 3) over a period of 60 minutes.  At that point she was aware of a huge relief, but was feeling tired and called it off until the following day.

Accompanied by her fascinated – and hugely grateful – mother, the youngster did two more five-minute sets and called a halt when she could discern no further discomfort.  She could remember Baby’s death, and funeral, and the black hole she had carried in her heart for weeks afterwards, but the memory itself carried no pain. Self-EMDR-hope-despair

But, but… what if the trauma went down to only five out of 10 in intensity, and stayed there?  No problem.  Mary would simply do more five-minute sets during the next few  days until the discomfort did disappear.  Failure is not possible. 

    What other problems can we encounter?  I have had several complaints that were traced to people failing to focus, while in trance, on a single trauma.  Perhaps John is over-tired when starting his Self-EMDR.  His entranced mind drifts from the fact a junior member of the company has been promoted over his head (the principal trauma);  to the fact he feels jealous because his wife would rather spend time with the baby than with him;  to that awful noise in the car’s engine.  John is supposed to hold his focus on a single trauma or area of discomfort, and keep it there, set after set, as  the level of conflict falls away.  If he allows his attention to drift, it simply won’t happen.

In the rare event a Self-EMDR session is completely halted, possibly because… the smoke alarm starts screaming, or the power supply fails, a potentially unfortunate situation can unfold. Hours later, or on the following day, the painful emotions that were in the process of being drained, abruptly come bursting to the surface.  Although they, in turn, will recede without additional sets it can be a startling phenomenon. The obvious solution, of course, is to have another Self-EMDR session and finish draining the emotions once and for all.

Unfortunately the one problem area which is likely to capture every counselling and therapeutic modality in the world, also affects EMDR and Self-EMDR.

Because of their primal role, males tend to become aggressive when challenged (admittedly with plenty of exceptions).  As a result there is an inclination for John JoSelf-EMDR-sad_boynes to blame somebody else no matter what goes wrong;  even when he is obviously at  fault.  If he climbs out of bed on the wrong side, and you get in his face, he won’t even listen to your considered argument.  He’ll be too busy searching his mind for the last word, the coup de grace. 

But the woman is different, because the human coin has two sides.  She may lose an argument, because her emotions tell her that is better than damaging a relationship.  He is the warrior.  She is the nurturer.  The Israeli Defence Force tells us their female soldiers must not be exposed to certain pivotal combat situations.  She will seldom throw away her life because if she does her baby dies (again in primal terms) and there is no mother to look after the children.  On the other hand, John Jones can give himself the luxury of taking a bullet and simply rolling over and dying.  He has proved himself.  Nothing is more important.

Now for the focus:  The archetypal female will blame herself, because her role with the children demands nothing less.  A male will blame the child for keeping him awake night after night.  Eventually the youngster will occupy an unsafe environment.  In the same situation the mother will blame herself, and frequently walk away.  The child will always be in safe hands.

In the case of a severe conflict the male will defend himself by attacking.  The female (especially an adolescent girl) will attack herself, sometimes by cutting.  She blames herself.

It follows that a distraught women receiving EMDR or Self-EMDR is capable of holding so much self-loathing that she will (subconsciously/unconsciously/emotionally) inhibit the therapy from working without being aware of it;  irrespective of the modality or technique involved.

Heads up!

(1)  The above remarks are by definition a generalization, but I am convinced they are a robust generalization;

(2)  EMDR and Self-EMDR enable the woman’s self-loathing to be eliminated with a small handful of sessions, in a manner that is quite impossible with any other approach.


Don’t Let Depression Take Over Your Life

Depression is a terrifying, complex phenomenon that affects most people in every community at some time in their life.  In simplistic terms we encounter various types of depression.  (a) Chronic depression typically comes and goes, often varying in intensity, sometimes for a lifetime.  (b) Reactive depression may appear for a particular and recognisable reason.  For example, a grief situation typically causes depression, accompanied by a spectrum of other negative emotions such as anger, denial (in the case of illness or death), exhaustion, anxiety, and reduced self-esteem and self-confidence, which needed to be treated intermediately, you have to find ways of distracting yourself, anything is better than just thinking about your problems even going online to get royalty free images, who knows, it is worth noting that grief is caused by any loss situation – not only a death.  (c)  Clinical depression.   This is the term generally denoting an episode so severe it debilitates the victim.

Not surprisingly depression accompanies many other illnesses, simply because the loss of one’s health must be grieved like any other loss, if healing is to take place.  Pain, hopelessness, fear, the need to recreate oneself, and even suicidality, cause a compounding misery. I recommend you to check out Lumitea Bloating relief for any digestive problems you might have.
Measures used to combat anxiety disorder are often effective with depression.  For example, traumas of the past which have caused “bad” emotional symptoms, are likely to be triggered or resurrected if present-day circumstances are similar.  Take the case of John, a chubby kid who was never able to understand maths or English.  Poor John was bullied by both the sporty kids and the clever kids.  In his first job, stacking shelves at the supermarket, he was mercilessly bullied and ridiculed by an assistant manager.  The emotions of the youngster came flooding back, especially the depression, the shyness and the conviction he was inferior.  The felt like hiding in the wardrobe.  He hated himself.  He was too embarrassed to allow anyone to see the tears.  He’d be better off dead!

The young man had reverted to a child again.  The victimised kid’s emotions had replaced those of the adult, because the assistant manager “felt” so much like the bullies at school.

What can John do about it?  In any number of ways he can introduce techniques into his life that he knew nothing about as a youngster.  That is, John can gather to himself methods of giving himself empowerment, a sense of structure and being in control.  In the process John becomes less and less like the schoolboy.  (I would endeavour to empower my client, move him in the direction of independence, and certainly not tell him what to do.) You can´t let depression take over your life, I always recommend taking some time off to better yourself, maybe going to the beach and checking out a cooler resource to get a cooler, fill it up with food and just go and relax, let the depression disapear.

Self-EMDRbeingaloneAs well, I would discuss the advantages of his using positive affirmations before sleep every night, such as “I now own my life.  Respectfully I defer to no-one, although I will always listen and learn.  Bullies, of whatever age, feel so inferior they need to put on a show of how big and strong and clever they are.  It’s just an act.  In fact they are pathetic idiots.  I feel sorry for them.”

Other techniques?  Assertiveness training is an incredibly powerful approach.  Enquire about neighbourhood classes, or obtain a pamphlet or DVD on the subject.

It is not helpful to overload oneself.  Do one chore or project at a time, and take satisfaction from doing it well.  Also make time for rest and recreation (re-creation).

With depression the inclination frequently exists to isolate yourself from other people.  This is the worst thing you can do.  Seek out a friendly listener.  Confide.  Even ask for help, never an easy task for the male of the species.  Seek out the courage.  You will surprise yourself.  A primal need exists to express the pain existing within, for that process encourages healing.  Another method is to write, write, write out the problem.  Start a diary.  Write to yourself or an imaginary friend.  Tell it like it is.  Then either keep it or discard it.

Yes, words are only words, and depression is an emotion and not words.  The most effective method of combining the two can be found in a modality that is exploding in popularity among mental healthcare professionals in over 130 countries – called EMDR.  A very recent development to this technique is Self-EMDR, whose reach and protocols were researched and developed by Desmond Long and his team.  Check it out.  CLICK HERE.

What Is Anxiety Disorder?

What is anxiety?  It is a normal, healthy and necessary part of our day-to-day life.  For example, we should be anxious and therefore vigilant to an appropriate degree when standing on the edge of a cliff in a blustery wind;  unless we’re a bird, of course.  Again, anxiety is an entirely understandable response for Mary as she awaits the results of her cancer biopsy.

But anxiety disorder is different.  By definition it is typically marked by vulnerable emotions, a feeling of dread, extreme nervousness or the impression of being unsafe – when there is no objective reason for these reactions.  Debilitating panic attacks are an extreme example of anxiety disorder. sad_eyes_Woman_EMDR_therapy

Mental healthcare specialists have claimed that, worldwide, 30 percent of the  population suffer from emotional problems every year, sufficiently severe to require professional intervention.  Whether or not such a blanket claim is meaningful and provable, it must be acknowledged that anxiety, depression, anger management problems, an inappropriate response to stress, and a general dissatisfaction with life, afflict virtually all Western countries.  Perhaps strangely, some statistics claim that the poorer the community the happier are its members!

So… what causes anxiety disorder?  Simplifying the old “nature versus nurture” approach, the question of genetics must be looked at.  If an unusually high incidence of anxiety runs in the family, its members downstream tend to have a higher incidence of anxiety.  A predisposition is said to exist in the bloodline.  But if Granddad were a manic depressive (bipolar), perhaps a bully who screamed and ranted at his children, they are likely to grow up in a fraught environment – unsafe, unloving, intimidating.  In turn this learnt behaviour can be passed from generation to generation.  Children are very, very sensitive and impressionable, and not only model the responses of the authority figures in their own life, but also develop sometimes unfortunate coping mechanisms;  such as anxiety disorder.  In an extreme case, “If he scares me too much I’ll get a migraine or asthma, then he won’t be allowed to hurt me.”  Of course the migraine or asthma is purely a subconscious psychosomatic reaction.

There are various strategies used to combat anxiety disorder.  In terms of this book, Self-EMDR:  The Complete Therapeutic Approach, we tell people that instead of taking a pill so it doesn’t hurt so much, why not remove what is causing the pain.  This approach also makes a reader independent and self-contained, all for the price of several cups of coffee.

(1)  Needless to say, both Complementary/Alternative and Allopathic (orthodox) medication is available to treat anxiety disorder.

(2)  Some sufferers are able to move the emotional stress to the physical level by resorting to a programme of physical exercise.  It is much easier to drain physical stress than emotional stress, simply by resting up for a while.

(3)  Talking to a friend or family member enables you to express the conflict causing anxiety disorder within a supportive environment, and often in the process create more of a sense of balance, control and structure.  This is what counselling is all about.  Seldom is a person destroyed by a trauma.  Rather, it is the lack of support which does the damage.

(4)  Mindfulness exercises.  A meditating technique involves the individual focussing acutely on that point in time called “the present” to the exclusion of the past and the future.  Significantly, stress and anxiety flow when one remembers past conflicts and pain;  and also when one looks into the future, anticipating further conflicts and pain.  The present is a fraction of a second which we  travel – locked in – that is free from both.

(5)  Set goals for yourself daily, and keep to them.  This establishes the impression of structure and control, the very qualities missing when anxiety disorder is encountered.

(6)  Practise deep breathing.  While anxiety can cause the victim to  hyperventilate, measured diaphragm breathing can actually “fool” the autonomic nervous system into emerging from its “fight or flight” response – that is part of anxiety disorder.

(7)  Diet.  Informed nutritional advice, available from a dietician or the pharmacy, has been credited with reducing or eliminating anxiety disorder.  In fact a healthy diet is essential for many areas of well being.  Complementary/alternative practitioners with access to dietary supplements may also prove helpful.

(8)  Check out the book by Desmond Long : Self-EMDR:  The Complete Therapeutic ApproachCLICK HERE.

Self-EMDR – Is It Safe?

Self EMDR The Breakthrough New TherapyIs it safe?

Just how safe?

Although EMDR (sometimes called “processing”) has captured, in fact revolutionized, psychological practice in over 90 countries during a mere 15 years, its birth can be traced back to the dawn of modern civilization.  Indigenous American Indians stamping their feet as they dance around a campfire are entrancing themselves, inspiring themselves, with the same process.

Grandma gently moving backwards and forwards in her rocking chair is in a similar neurological trance.  As with little Mary on the swing in her backyard, and her baby brother who is being rocked to and fro in Mother’s arms or in the cradle.

But therapeutic self-EMDR, is that just as safe?  Yes.  As safe as Grandma and Mary.  In all cases their brain is gently being pulsed by the physical movements.  The resulting trance makes them delightfully relaxed and comfortable – and profoundly receptive.  In my practice I regularly work with fretful and uncomfortable babies (showing Mother how) and with children and teenagers.

Question:  How long will it take me to remove a terrifying experience that has given me nightmares and panic attacks for years or even decades?

Answer:  Often one hour for a single trauma.  Sometimes two or three hours.

If years of severe trauma have accumulated and reinforced, it will take much longer.  In this case a person will practise Self-EMDR (completely unsupervised and independently) on a regular basis for as long as necessary. Self-EMDR-hope-despair

What is the success rate?  In my specialist clinical practice, it is 100 percent for months at a time in the case of a single trauma.  With Self-EMDR, by a person lacking any experience, it is probably 80 – 90 percent depending on motivation.

It is your life.  Self-EMDR is free.  It represents a window of opportunity which has only recently swung open onto the world.

Download Self-EMDR now and start your journey of dicovery and healing within minutes from now. Click the BUY NOW button below to order NOW!