Read the following EXAMPLES of Self-EMDR in personal use:
Perhaps the most eloquent way we can understand Self-EMDR, and what it is able to deliver to the community, is to look at a few very brief case histories.
Many emotional problems and mood disorders flow from dysfunction during a child’s upbringing. At this profoundly sensitive time an electro-chemical “program” is vicariously being put in place within the subconscious mind which will determine that person’s socializing skills and responses, and in fact his or her entire emotional landscape – often for a lifetime.
During childhood the human being is “created” at the mental-emotional level. Frequently during adolescence the individual’s dysfunction is either reinforced (prisons and mental institutions are full of these people) or modified. Thankfully.
Self-EMDR: The Complete Therapeutic Approach is especially valuable in these, and other similar, cases where scores of traumas, conflicts and areas of abject misery have to be processed. It is so often a reality that clients or patients who most need help are those who lack the substantial financial resources necessary. Self-EMDR the book solves both problems. With simple, step by step explanations, a person needing support and guidance is able to address every problem area of a lifetime, including those originating from childhood.
Let us look at some examples.
“James”, 35 years of age, presented with desperately poor self-esteem and self-confidence. In fact James faced the prospect of standing on the roadside during working hours for the rest of his life, waving a “stop-go” sign. Tragically he possessed an above-average intellect, and furthermore suffered from chronic asthma. That meant poor James was off work gasping and wheezing during every cold spell, so even his lowly-paid job with the construction company was under threat. In turn, that fed his insecurities.
James’ partner bought a copy of Self-EMDR from me, and one month later, by arrangement, James rang back with a progress report. Apparently he had been home sick, and spent an hour every second day practising. He said the book was clearly laid out and easy to follow. He liked the detailed case histories and simply followed the one relating to his problem. Because of childhood asthma (and the cold climate), James had missed a lot of schooling, and found his defensive habit of “pushing books away and having nothing to do with them” (rather than admitting failure) produced negative expectation with Self-EMDR. That is, he expected to fail even before he saw the book. A worst-case scenario!
As a consequence the first two sessions produced the very outcome he expected: No results whatsoever. The next one was more encouraging, and after that… Wow. James was captured.
In an EMDR trance he scoured his child and teenage years for every experience that could have damaged his confidence, self-esteem and security – his self-image. There were dozens of them. Both parents contributed in their own way. Mother had a history of very poor self-esteem herself, and sometimes ran herself down in front of James, her only child. As children tend to do, James modelled his mother, emotionally internalized her, and as an adolescent became a papier-mache version of her. James’ father consumed far too much alcohol far too often, and would berate and deride their child mercilessly when he arrived home drunk.
All children believe what they are told repeatedly. They blame themself. Therefore James was emotionally moulded by his parents’ behaviour. That’s what James was. Because of missed schooling he was deemed to be “retarded” and so was bullied. In his own eyes he became both a coward and an idiot.
Over many weeks, whenever a childhood memory made him feel bad, James erased the pain; every last scrap of pain. Not the memory itself, but the traumatic or conflicting or uncomfortable emotions accompanying the memory. James became a different human being. For the rest of his life. That is not to say James was the most outgoing person in town, or aspired to be a politician. Rather, James was quietly confident, happy in himself, and had a healthy and balanced self-image. James had risen above the tormented creature his parents created, and discovered himself – the James he was supposed to be.
One of the strangest Self-EMDR case histories I have encountered relates to a guy called Desmond.
Yep, that’s me. The year was 2006, and I had been researching the new neurotherapeutic modality called EMDR in an effort to make it into a self-help technique. To the best of my knowledge nobody else had succeeded. Using my newly developed self-help protocols and delivery mechanism I entranced myself and “went back in time” in order to work my way through the traumatic and uncomfortable episodes of my childhood; every incident I could think of which made me feel bad about myself.
To start with I was delighted with the results. Although the memories remained intact, as expected, the negative and unwanted emotions fell from “very, very uncomfortable” to a level I was barely able to discern. Having worked up to this point in gentle steps – always pausing to evaluate – I was not surprised. However something did happen which shocked me! Having “erased” a large percentage of the stress from my entire childhood, I appeared to change into a different individual. I became a different personality. Devoid of the negative programming of those formative years, with an emotionally “different” childhood behind me, I found myself in possession of a different “me”. Amazing! I was now relaxed, peaceful, reconciled, much more confident. I was more comfortable with the new “me” than ever I was with the old “me”.
In the 10 years since I have never changed back. I never will. That is because assorted areas of dysfunction and unjustified fears were removed from my childhood, and therefore are not present now.
But I have been convinced many times over. For example the many Self-EMDR case histories I have been involved with include the following.
A middle-aged farm manager, “Stu”.
Stu developed a phobia about air travel after flying across country to the funeral of his twin sister. Stu was a man’s man (his son once played for the Canterbury Super 14 team) and claimed he had been to the doctor only twice in his life. The first time was when he was born. So it was unlikely he would visit a “shrink” to get help with the phobia. Armed with a copy of Self-EMDR: The Complete Therapeutic Approach, Stu entranced himself and “revisited” the time his fear of flying started. The memory and associated emotions were clear and unmistakable. The flight down south was the most painful two hours of his life, perhaps because there were only the two children in the family, and Sis acted as both mother and father after the tragic death of both parents; although she was little more than a kid herself. Since then both had married and raised children, but the two extended families lived in the same township.
Stu proudly admitted he had never shed a tear in his life, even when their parents failed to come home from that Sunday drive. He had never talked about it. Strangely, when news was received that Sis had died of a brain bleed, the memory of Mum and Dad’s death and funeral seemed to wash over him – as though the two tragedies had merged. Except that the pain was magnified ten-fold. He had not allowed his family to accompany him in case they saw his tears, and Sis’ husband and children were already there.
All that took place 10 years ago, although it seemed like yesterday as he did Self-EMDR on the two tragedies. Somehow he knew that he should openly have grieved the two lots of deaths when they happened. Grief is a healing process. Someone had probably explained that to him.
Now it didn’t matter. Day after day, session after session, as Stu revisited the various memories of his life containing pain, they gave up their negative energy. In its place was total reconciliation. Peace took the place of blind panic whenever he was in an aircraft.
And nobody had seen Stu’s tears, because he used self-EMDR.
Another case history involved “Linda”
Linda is a young Christian woman who bought a copy of the book because of self-defeating behaviour. Her primary relationship had broken up, and she also became estranged from both parents. Furthermore, having emerged from the first year at university with flying colours, she started failing. It just seemed to happen.
One week after purchasing Self-EMDR, her life changed. It turned out Linda had obtained a termination after unexpectedly becoming pregnant. There was little conflict at that stage. However after listening to a visiting evangelist preach about the “evils” of abortion, and how the murder of another human being – irrespective of age – would invariably condemn the killer to eternity in hell, she was horrified. If only she had known! Linda felt relieved that she was able to block the terrible deed from her mind, only to discover she was failing one exam after another. In a Self-EMDR trance she discovered why. At the emotional level, not just the thinking, analytical level, she was feeling guilty. So guilty that her own mind was punishing her by damaging important relationships and making her fail exams.
In extreme cases, self-defeating subconscious actions can go so far as to destroy one’s health; as when a person is overtaken with cancer. The name given to this phenomenon is “psychosomatic”. In other words the psyche or mind is driving the soma or body. But with Linda her mind, tormented with guilt, was driving her into self-destructive behaviour.
Because Linda did not find help and reconciliation to challenge the trauma, but merely blocked it from her mind, her subconscious or emotional resources sought out a way to express the terrible conflict. It punished her.
Using Self-EMDR, Linda “went back” to the times the trauma was worst: She was sitting by herself contemplating the abortion that had taken place; she was adrift in horror immediately following the evangelist’s words; and she was desperately attempting to smother the unbearable guilt at killing a baby. There was also the shame at failing her exams to contend with, as well as the self-hatred at damaging and even betraying her partner and parents with her dreadful behaviour. By reliving each of the events as many times as necessary in a neurotherapeutic trance, she totally banished their emotions from her life. She was free and whole again. Her mind no longer had a reason to punish her. As a result she was able to repair those important relationships and continue her studies without further failures.
It can be seen that any event of a lifetime causing guilt – any accident or mistake – can result in self-sabotaging behaviour. This is also the case with the many, many other instances of conflict, tragedy, mood disorders, addictions and mere discomfort which are experienced every day. Just remember that Self-EMDR can be accessed almost anywhere in the world, in the privacy of one’s home, for the price of just a few cups of coffee.
Because of bullying, both physical and online, teenagers can find themself trapped. There is a limit to what parents, teachers and authorities can do. A wrong move and the victim becomes more victimised. Suicides even have been attributed to these cycles. Self-EMDR is an ideal resolution, with the humiliation, depression, and damage to self-esteem and self-confidence at such a vulnerable time in the young person’s life, eliminated.
“Once you are a parent you are never safe.” As a grandparent I understand. Babies can make their appearance with congenital disadvantages that mark them for a lifetime. Tweens and teens are faced with a variety of temptations including drugs, some of them lethal. This phase can graduate to fast cars. Yes, most parents are lucky, but the parental vulnerability loiters.
Self-EMDR is always available as an insurance policy offering peace of mind.
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